I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
