i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
