and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
