i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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