I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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