he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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