I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You should frame my arrest warrant.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
