Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
