____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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