I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
well you can't waste a boner
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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