so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
