Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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