i think my tv is drunk
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
