something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
he had hair everywhere except his balls
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
