Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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