So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
