I haven't been this sober since birth.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
