Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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