I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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