Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
