Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
