I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
