I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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