but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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