2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Randomize
