just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
