do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
