for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
