her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
