Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
