I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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