Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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