Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I forgot how hot balto sounded
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
