Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
