so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
he was CRYING into my vagina
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
being pregnant is like rehab
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
