i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
