Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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