all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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