Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
