Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
