Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
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