Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
