party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
