better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
