So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
