I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
