I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
