why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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