He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
