So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
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