i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
